Chapter VI – Sock it to ‘em

"One leather jerkin" said the Constable as he placed it on the table before Grumpy.   "One pair of dark woollen trousers" he continued "one pair of high heeled leather travelling boots, one dark brown cloak, one backpack containing assorted adventuring gear, one purse containing 100 gold pieces"
"100!" thundered Grumpy "There were 329 in there when you took it off me ya Thieving buggers!"
"One half eaten soufflé" the Constable intoned.
Elvis raised a questioning eyebrow in Grumpys direction.
"What can I say" said Grumpy gruffly "I like fine food".
"And lastly one starched sock"
"Errr, starch.  Yes that's it, I umm.....starched the sock.....gimme that!" said Grumpy as he snatched the sock out of the Constables hand and stuffed it down the front of his underpants.

The Magistrate that was presiding over the hearing sat on a large ornately carved wooden chair upon a raised dais.  Numerous court officials and guards were scattered throughout the room, each of them performing their allocated daily tasks. Grumpy stood unbound before the magistrate wearing nothing but his underpants, with Elvis to his right as was traditional for the role of Advocate.  The remainder of the party sat at the rear of the court room intently watching the proceedings as they unfolded before them.  
The Magistrate stared silently down his nose at the near-naked Dwarf before clearing his throat to speak.
"Even though we appreciate how you and your friends drove the evil from the mine, we cannot tolerate you assaulting the law abiding citizens that live in this city" he said in a stern voice.  "Particularly when the assault involves” he paused briefly before picking the parchment before him and reading “jamming a pickled eel into the owner of the Busted Keg tavern”.

“Maybe they should change the name to the Busted Bunghole” whispered Alyse snidely to her companions whose stifled laughter was heard throughout the court room.

“Silence!” shouted the Bailiff angrily.

After casting a disapproving glance in Alyses direction the Magistrate continued.

“On this occasion I will let you off with a warning.  If, however, you commit one more crime in Van Drewmans Port I shall be forced to bring the full weight of the law down upon you; and believe me, you do not want that to happen” he warned menacingly. "I'm sure he's learned his lesson Your Honour" said Elvis in a soothing tone as he stood beside Grumpy.  

“I doubt that” replied the Magistrate wryly.  “You are free to dress and depart Dwarf”. As Grumpy hurriedly tried to don both his trousers and his leather jerkin at the same time, Elvis bowed low before the Magistrate.

"If that's all we'll be on our way Your Honour” he said in a respectful tone.

"Actually that's not all" replied the Magistrate "if its adventure you want I have just the thing for you.  There is a large obelisk in the centre of the city that has been here since before settlement.  Over the years many people have tried to gain entrance to it but none have been able to do so as it is warded against intrusion.  Recently one of the local citizens was seen entering the obelisk through a door that had appeared in one of its walls.  After he stepped through the door it vanished and he has not been seen since.  Perhaps you could channel your energies into trying to find the missing man?  That should keep you out of trouble for a while.....if not permanently" he said ominously.

“I’m afraid we will not be able to accommodate that request.” said Elvis “You see Your Honour not only are we adventurers, but we are also entertainers, and tonight we are performing at the White Stag tavern in the merchants quarter.   “Entertainers?!” scoffed the Magistrate “Surely not!”

“But we are” continued Elvis.  “We are called the Elvis & the Tumblers, Wordsmyths, Actors, Troubadours and Singers; or Elvis and the TWATS for short”
“That’s a mouthful” said the Magistrate “I can see why you shortened it”
“Oh yes, it certainly rolls off the tongue a lot better” agreed the Constable as he nodded his head.
“With your permission Your Honour?” asked Elvis as he bowed low.
“Yes be on your way” replied the Magistrate with a touch of impatience. “Just try to keep out of trouble” he warned.