Llona, who was on guard duty, never noticed as Reggie flew silently over the sleeping bodies of the party towards the stairs that lead back up to the ground floor.
‘Deaf Cow’ he thought to himself. ‘What good are those pointy ears if you can’t hear anything?’As he entered the cavernous room he banked slowly to the left and made directly for the hole in the ceiling that lead to the room on the first floor. After he passed through the hole and into the observation room he flew over to the body of the creature that lay where it had fallen. With the precision of a skilled butcher Reggie cut open its chest and delicately removed its heart, before he rose to his feet and hopped across the floor and onto the chair that sat behind the desk. He placed the heart on top of a book before he picked up the parchment that Shyne had placed there hours before and began to read.
‘Deaf Cow’ he thought to himself. ‘What good are those pointy ears if you can’t hear anything?’As he entered the cavernous room he banked slowly to the left and made directly for the hole in the ceiling that lead to the room on the first floor. After he passed through the hole and into the observation room he flew over to the body of the creature that lay where it had fallen. With the precision of a skilled butcher Reggie cut open its chest and delicately removed its heart, before he rose to his feet and hopped across the floor and onto the chair that sat behind the desk. He placed the heart on top of a book before he picked up the parchment that Shyne had placed there hours before and began to read.
“Oh how I have longed for this day” he read aloud while he used his tail to cut a slice off the heart before stabbing it with the tip and putting it into his mouth.
‘Boring!’ he thought to himself between mouthfuls as he began to skim read through the text.
“fall of civilisations.....I waved at it and shouted.......recognise a Noble warrior of Heironeous!?”
“Oh Elf, you surely made a right mess of that” he said with an evil chuckle.
After he’d finished his meal Reggie opened the pouch on his belt and removed his crystal ball. It took him a while to clear his mind enough to activate the item, but eventually he was able to focus his thoughts until a nightmarish face appeared through the mist inside.
“Operator” said the disembodied head through a mouthful of fangs.
“Hello. I’d like to make a collect call to the 9 Hells please” said Reggie.
“Of course Sir. What layer?”
“Avernus” he replied.
“I’ll need the area code followed by the number”
“Area code 666 and the number is 5556969” said the Imp in a patient voice.
“And your name and the name of the Devil that you wish to talk to”
“Reginald Arthur Wesley-Smyth the Third calling for Constance Charlotte Wesley-Smyth”
“Hold the line please Sir” said the Operator.
“Of course” said Reggie as he licked the blood from the tip of his tail.
“I have a Mr Reginald Arthur Wesley-Smyth the Third wishing to place a collect call to Constance Charlotte Wesley-Smyth, are you willing to accept the charges?”
“No” Reggie heard a male voice say faintly at the other end before the line went dead.
“I’m sorry Sir, but the receiving ball has declined to accept the charges” said the Operator.
“I heard” replied Reggie.
“While you’re on the ball Sir, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you about our new product called the Hellternet, it’s a revolutionary way to”
“I don’t want to hear about your stupid halterneck!” interrupted the Imp angrily.
“Yes Sir” came the disembodied response “Then can I interest you in our new pre-paid range of crystal balls?”
“NO!” Reggie screamed into the ball “FUCK OFF!”
“Yes Sir. Have a terrible day” said the operator before hanging up.
“Wanker” Reggie said out loud before scattering the remaining parchments on the desk across the room.
He’d recognised the faint voice in the ball.
“What in the name of all that is Evil are you playing at Willie?”
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