Chapter XX - Hell Hath No Fury Like A Bard Scorned - Part 1

“Someone’s coming” Grumpy whispered over his shoulder as he hefted his axe and prepared himself for combat.  He relaxed as he recognised Llona making her way stealthily down the corridor towards the entrance that he was guarding. 

Taking their cue from the Dwarf the other three members of the party lowered their weapons and waited for the Rogue to enter the door.

“Did you find her?” asked Slobba as soon as Llona had stepped into the room.

“No” came the angry reply “she found me.”
“Praise be to Mighty Thor” said Slobba “that is good news indeed.”

“She’s about 100 feet down the corridor.  Just beyond that there is a room off to the left with what looks to be 2 wizards in it.  Going by what we’ve encountered thus far I’d say that there is a better than average chance that they will want to kill us” said the female Elf. “Alyse wants us to get up to her as quickly and as quietly as possible” she concluded.

“That’ll be easy” said the big Lorsian “I can cast a spell that will mask our sounds so they won’t hear us coming.”

“But if you do that then we won’t be able to cast our own spells” said Shyne with a worried expression on his face.

“I won’t be able to inspire you with my heroic songs either” said Elvis as he shook one of his maracas as if to remind them all that he was a Bard.

“I shall banish the spell once we charge our foes” said Slobba with a shrug of his shoulders “with a bit of luck we’ll be on them before they know what’s going on.”

“It’s a grand plan that can’t possibly fail!” exclaimed the Bard enthusiastically.  “Unless Shyne’s involved of course, then we’ll most likely be captured, brutally tortured and killed with a coconut.”

“How do you kill someone with a coconut?” asked Slobba.

“You don’t want to know” replied the Bard with a faraway look on his face as he noticeably clenched his buttocks.

“You know Elvis, sometimes you can be a real bastard” said Shyne contemptuously.

“Yeah” sighed the Bard “I know.”

“Ok everyone gather around me” said Slobba “I’m going to cast the Silence spell.”

“What?”

“Stop being a smart arse Grumpy, just get over here” said the Cleric.

“Nice one Grumps” laughed Elvis.

“Don’t encourage him” snapped Slobba.  “Right, everyone ready? Good.  Here goes” said the Cleric before launching into an incomprehensible incantation that ended with all sound in the room disappearing.

Slobba tapped the Dwarf on the shoulder and motioned for him to start moving down the corridor.  He then waved first Llona, then Shyne, through next before he himself stepped through the door with Elvis a few paces behind him. 

Even though the party was unnaturally quite they still moved slowly along the passageway towards the waiting Alyse. 

As they neared the open doorway, the Ranger stepped out of the shadows and motioned for the group first to stop, then to move up against the wall so that they couldn’t be seen from the inside.

Slobba slowly made his way over to Alyse and raised an eyebrow while nodding in the direction of the room that was no more than 20 feet from where they were standing.

Alyse raised two fingers on her left hand, shrugged her shoulders then raised three fingers on her left hand once again.  She then made the shape of an ‘L’ on her forehead with the finger and thumb of her right.

‘So we have at least two and possibly three Wizards in the room.  This could get tricky’ Slobba thought to himself, before turning and slowly making his way with Alyse back to the party.

Once everyone was back together he pointed at Grumpy and Llona then motioned for them to take the left hand side of the room.  He then pointed at Alyse then himself and gestured towards the right, before finally motioning for Elvis and Shyne to go up the centre.

Once he was sure that everyone knew their roles he turned and slowly made his way back to the edge of the doorway.

Elvis watched as Shyne reached out his hand to give Llona a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.  Even though the female Elf gave him a glare in response, the Bard was sure that he saw the ghost of a smile flicker across her lips after Shyne had turned away.

It was only the silence spell that prevented everyone from hearing the retching sounds that Elvis made after watching the exchange.

The Bard was quickly brought to his senses when Slobba suddenly charged through the door with the rest of the party in tow.  He hoisted his rapier in his right hand and his maracas in his left and followed his friends into uncertainty.

The room was roughly 30 feet by 30 feet in size and was richly furnished.  There were two beds with wooden chests alongside them at opposite ends with a door in the middle of the far wall, and the floor was covered in a heavy dark red carpet.  The walls were lined with large tapestries depicting a mixture of landscape and city scenes. 

As per the plan, Slobba had burst into the room and headed to the right, with Llona two paces behind.  Before him stood a golden haired female Elven Wizard dressed in green trousers with knee high brown boots, and a dark blue tabard with a light blue border.  She was staring at him with her mouth open in astonishment.

The hulking Lorsian raised his spear and levelled it with the tip inches from her throat and, with barely a thought, he ended the silence spell.

“Do not move or I shall kill you” he said in a menacing tone as Llona manoeuvred into a flanking position.

Across the other side of the room Grumpy and Alyse were confronted by a bald human male clad in a blue tunic and knee high brown boots.  He had a long beard that was plaited down to below his waist and blue lightning bolts tattooed on his arms and skull.

With a look of pure malice in his eyes the Wizard began to cast a spell.  Seeing the danger, Alyse brought her bow to bear and loosed an arrow, but her aim was off and it sailed harmlessly past the gesticulating man.

Grumpy lowered his head and started to rush at the Wizard, but he knew that he would not get to him in time to stop the spell.  The Dwarf watched in alarm as the man’s arm came up until his finger was pointed directly at his heart.  It seemed to the Dwarf that time itself stood still as he watched in morbid fascination as little balls of light crackled up and down the Wizards wrist, before a bolt of lightning seemed to lazily erupt from his hand and streak towards him. 

“Clanggedin Titty-Fucking Silverbeard!” he shouted at the top of his lungs as he threw his body to the side and avoided most of the force of the lightning bolt. 

As he lay writhing on the ground Grumpy could hear Alyses shrieks of agony and he realised that she must have also been hit.

“DON’T DO IT!” Slobba shouted to the female Elf as she took a step back and began to cast a spell.  An instant later 2 glowing balls of energy exploded from her hand and flew unerringly into him.

Slobba gritted his teeth against the pain and thrust his long spear into her neck.  The Elf’s eyes opened wide in pain and shock as blood fountained from the hideous wound in her throat.

With a snarl of rage Llona leapt forward and buried one of her shortswords into the Wizards side.  Knowing that the wound was fatal she spun on the balls of her feet to search for her next opponent, just in time to see Shyne send a magical acid arrow into the bald human on the other side of the room. 

No sooner had the arrow struck home and catapulted the Wizard into the wall, than the door on the far wall burst open and four armoured men charged into the room.

Slobba turned to meet the new threat and at the top of his lungs bellowed “BY THOR CUM IN ME’ ASS!” before charging into the fray.

“What did he just say?” Elvis asked Shyne incredulously.

“By Thor come and meet us.  What are you deaf?” replied the Elf before casting another spell that sent 2 glowing balls of energy into the closest warrior.  “If you’ve got an inspiring song to sing you’d best do it now, things are starting to get a little out of hand here.”

“Oh I’ve got a song alright” said Elvis with a wicked grin on his face and he launched right into it.

Give it to me Llona, uh huh, uh huh

Give it to me Llona, uh huh, uh huh

Give it to me Llona, uh huh, uh huh

And all the girlies say Shynes pretty thick for a dumb prick

You know it’s kinda hard for Elves to get along today

Now Shyne he isn’t smart he couldn’t fake it no way!

He doesn’t have a clue and he doesn’t have style

In fact he’s got a face that looks like a vertical smile!

“You know you’re not helping!” shouted Slobba as he ducked under a vicious swing from the sword of one of the warriors that he was facing.

“Of course I am” retorted the Bard “it’s called reverse psychology”.

"I'll give you fucking reverse psychology after all this is over!" shouted Shyne as he drew his great sword from its sheath and parried the attack of another opponent.

“And all the girlies say Shynes pretty slick for a fat prick!”

“SHUT UP!”

Continued in Part 2

Authors Note 1:  I thought I'd take a minute to explain Slobba's war cry.  Lenny, my mate who runs Slobba, likes to put a bit of depth into his characters and early on he decided that Slobba would be a Viking.  As such he likes to occasionally speak in a bit of a Scandinavian accent.  On this one particular night when we were confronted by some baddies he said 'By Thor, come and meet us!' but with the accent that he put on it sounded to me like he'd said 'By Thor cum in me ass!'  In all my years playing DnD (over 25) I have never laughed so much at a game.  I was literally doubled over and crying with laughter (and so was Lenny once he found out what I thought he'd said).  Truly one of my all time favourite gaming memories.

Authors Note 2: Clangeddin Silverbeard is the Dwarven God of battle.

Prux

Chapter XIX - Musings In The Dark

Ten minutes later the remaining 5 members of the party stood before the open double doors at the end of the hall.  The glow from Elvis’ sunrod cast light into the room beyond but there was no sign of Alyse.

“It’s too dark” said Elvis nervously as he looked through the doorway and into the gloom “can you see anything Grumpy?”

The Dwarf stepped up to the edge of the doorway and snuck a quick look into the passage way beyond.

“I can’t see her” he said as he drew his head back from the opening.

“I’ll go and search, you stay here” said Llona as she drew her swords from their scabbards.

“Don’t be stupid woman, we’ll all go” argued Grumpy.

“You’re all too noisy, it’s best if I go alone.  If I need any help I’ll call out.”

“Wait!” said Shyne with a note of urgency in his voice. “At least let me send Gimp along so that he can protect you.”

“Fuck that” Reggie said to himself “she’s on her own.”

“I don’t need protection!” Llona snarled before shouting “Nothanyal lle ve a karaar!” in Elvish at the hapless Shyne then storming through the doorway.

“Do you have any idea what she just said?” Slobba asked Elvis in a whisper.

“Well if I know my Elvish I think she said ‘Would you like to buy a cow?’” replied the Bard. “But I could be wrong.”

‘Stupid man!’ Llona thought angrily as she moved into the corridor ‘Protection!  He’s the one that needs protection!'

Even with her limited ability to see in the dark she found it hard to make out anything as she moved silently down the corridor.  After moving 60 or so feet she brought herself to a halt to see if she could hear anything.  She slowly counted to 30 before she was satisfied that there was nothing in the immediate area and continued.

As she crept along the passage way she began to curse herself inwardly for displaying weakness in front of the others.  She wondered what Rotan would have said if he’d seen her carrying on like that.  

‘He probably would have slapped me to bring me back to my senses’ she thought grimly ‘and I would have deserved it’. 

Rotan had been a hard task master but he had taught her much.  She’d been fortunate to have fallen in with him after she’d run away from home.  Others that she knew in the slums of Larencia City had not been so lucky, and they’d ended up nothing more than bonded servants to cruel masters. 

‘Or worse’ she shuddered.

Rotan

Rotan had been a good man and he did not deserve what had happened to him.  She didn’t know exactly who it was that had killed him, but she suspected that it was one of the Guild Masters enforcers, most probably Durak.  There were rumours that Rotan had been holding back on the guild and the Guild Master was not known for his forgiving nature.  That he had ordered the old mans death was without question; he had set an example to all those who thought to do the same.

Llona was realistic enough to know that if the old thief had been stealing from the guild he had deserved to be punished; however it was the nature of his death that had ignited her thirst for revenge.  Rotan hadn’t just been murdered; he’d been brutally tortured and had died an agonising death.

She’d only met the Guild Master once, it was when Rotan had deemed that her apprenticeship was over and it was time to swear her oath to the Guild. Normally the oath was given to the Master of Pockets but on this occasion the Guild Master himself took it.  She assumed it was him the moment she stepped through the door and saw the figure seated on the dais in the centre of the room.  Her suspicion was confirmed when she’d heard Rotan draw a quick breath when he’d entered behind her.  Perhaps even then he was stealing from the Guild and had feared that he’d been caught. 

Llona’s encounter with the Guild Master had been brief and frightening. As expected he was clad from head to toe in dark clothing, with only his eyes showing in the dim candle light.  At the time she couldn’t put her finger on the exact reason as to why she was so scared.  It could have been one of any number of things; the bodyguards that lined the walls, the utter stillness in the room or the tension in the air.  It wasn’t until later that she realised that it was the Guild Masters eyes; they were cold and emotionless. 

The eyes of a killer. 

She knew then that he was not a man to cross.  If only Rotan had thought as she did, he’d probably still be alive.

She’d loved the old man in her own way, and had sworn to take revenge on the man that had ordered him killed. 

The man whose name she later discovered was Kurt.

‘I just have to figure out how to find him’ she thought to herself absently as she continued to move along the passage way.

A split second later she was grabbed from behind, one arm circled her throat while a hand clamped firmly onto her mouth.

“Don’t make a sound” a voice whispered softly into her ear.

Llona immediately froze in place, the tip of the short sword in her right hand an inch from the thigh of Alyse, her captor.

“There’s a doorway about 30 feet up on the left” the Ranger whispered “can you see it?”

Llona nodded.

“There are two people in there.  I think they are wizards; and not the type that wear white robes and put on firework displays for Halflings” said Alyse softly as she took her hand away from the Rogues mouth.  “Go back and get the others, tell them to get back here as quickly and as quietly as possible.  I’ll stay here and keep watch. Go.”

The Rogue nodded again then moved off back down the corridor towards her friends.

‘Jumped by a Ranger?  she mused 'Rotan would NOT be pleased'.

Authors Comment 3 - Site Re-Design

Over this weekend I managed to figure out the basics of how pages work.  As such I have created three new pages called Maps, Introduction and Cast.

The maps were created years ago by my cousin Andrew who is a mining Engineer currently working in Mexico. 

As you'll no doubt figure out Taswegia is pretty much an upside down map of Tasmania with one of the corners cut off.

The main map is a little hard to read so I encourage you to open the smaller ones to get a better view.  At present the characters in the story are in the city of Vandrewmans Port, which can be best seen by opening the Taswegia - North West.  It is located in the province of Vandrewmansland.  It's not too difficult to find.

The other new pages are the old Cast and Introduction posts.  I made pages out of them so that the would be easier to find.

As long as you keep reading, I'll keep writing.

Prux

Chapter XVIII - Jealousy's a Curse

Elvis watched silently as Llona fussed over the nearly fully recovered Shyne.  Slobba’s healing spells had done the trick and the Warrior Wizard was lounging comfortably on his bedroll lapping up the attention that the Rogue was giving him.
After he removed the last of his aloe vera face mask he folded up his towel and shoved it into his back pack.
‘What has he got that I haven’t?’ he mused ‘must be the ears, probably gives her something to hold on to’.
It wasn’t that Elvis was attracted to Llona, aside from her magnificent cans of course, she just happened to be the better of the two options currently available to him.  No it was the fact that she wasn’t attracted to him that really bugged the Bard.  Women loved Elvis.  They swooned to his songs, shrieked at his dance moves and threw their underwear at him when he was on stage; sometimes while they were still wearing it.  Yes women found it impossible to say no to his charms, yet this one had.  It just would not do.
 “You OK there Elvis?” Slobba asked as he began to gather up his equipment “you look lost in thought.”
“I’m fine” replied the Bard “just trying to figure out the best way out of here.”
“Well we can’t go back, we’ll just have to push on and see if we can find a way out” said the Cleric as he hoisted his back pack onto his shoulders then bent over and picked up his long spear.
“Get up pointy head!” said Grumpy as he kicked Shyne while he lay on his bed roll.
“Have you seen Alyse?” he asked, ignoring the evil glare sent in his direction from the Elf.
“Not since she stormed off after her little fight with Llona” replied Slobba.
“Well I say it’s time we packed up our gear and set out to find her” said the Dwarf “she can’t have gotten too far ahead.”
“I agree. Get a move on your two” said Slobba to the two Elves before moving back to the stairs to ensure that there wasn’t anyone behind them.
“Hey Llona” said Elvis with a wink towards Grumpy “if I’m on deaths door will you burst into tears like you did for Shyne?”
“Not at all” she replied rising to her feet.
“Why not?” he asked while trying to keep a straight face
“Because most likely I would have been the one that had put you there” Llona replied ominously.
“HA! Good one!” laughed Grumpy.
“A word of warning Bard” Llona hissed “the next time you decide to poke fun at me I will skin you alive then bury you up to your neck in the salt flats on the Nameless Isle.”
“Sounds......painful” said Elvis with a nervous smile.
“Best hope you don’t find out” she snarled before turning and helping a grinning Shyne climb up from the floor.
“You know laddie, I don’t think that girl likes you” said the Dwarf as they watched the two Elves move off towards the doorway at the end of the hall.
“Rubbish” scoffed the Bard “she wants me bad!”

Late Post

Apologies for not having put up a post this week.  There have been a number of reasons but the main one is that I purchased a copy of the new Wheel of Time book and have had my nose in it ever since. 


I've started Part XVIII but am only a few hundred words into it.  I'm going out to dinner tomorrow night with the family (the 16th) to celebrate my birthday, so the next post wont be out until most probably Thursday the 18th. 


I know that this will mean a break of nearly 2 weeks between posts and I will try to ramp up my writing so that I produce updates more regularly.


On the plus side I now have 20 followers of the blog which is great.  For some reason only 18 are displayed on the site; one of my friends has said that you can make yourself 'invisible' if you want when you join a blog.  I'm not sure if that's true or not but it would explain the missing two followers. 

I also found out who the person is in Canada that is reading my blog.  He is a friend of a mate of mine and he sent me an e-mail last week introducing himself.  Thanks for reading Elis, it's great to have you on board and enjoying the story.


Lastly, this blog has now had just over 1000 page views which I'm really happy about. 

As long as you keep reading, I'll keep writing.


Prux

Chapter XVII - Girls Just Want To Have Fun

Slobba woke the next morning with a pounding headache, which he knew was undoubtedly a carry over from the previous days battle.  As he sat up a wave of nausea washed over him and he only just managed to prevent himself from vomiting on the snoring form of Grumpy.

"Are you alright?" asked Alyse with a note of concern in her voice "You look a little green."

"I'm fine" replied the burly Lorsian as he climbed unsteadily to his feet and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.  "Did anything happen last night?"

"Gimp disappeared during Llona's watch and he turned up about an hour ago.  He wouldn't say where he went.  He was badly shaken by Shynes injuries and the death of Nancy and I'd say that he just wanted to be by himself for a while.  I guess even Imps need some alone time every once in a while" she said with a shrug.  "Aside from that everything was quiet" she concluded.

"Shyne?"

"He's still alive but he's in a very bad way" replied the Ranger "I honestly don't know how he survived."

"Our Warrior Wizard is a lot tougher than we gave him credit for" said Slobba as he bent down to examine the badly wounded Elf.

Shynes skin was still pale and his breath was tinged with blood but at least it was even, if not very strong.  Slobba lifted the blanket off his torso and gently probed the area around the broken collar bone.  It was still damaged but not as badly as it had been immediately after the battle.  He decided against rolling the Elf over to check his back, the wounds there, although partially healed, would still be severe and he didn't want to risk damaging them further by moving him unnecessarily.

"How is he?" asked Elvis from behind Slobba's right shoulder.

"By Thor don't sneak up on me like that!" snapped the Cleric "you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry" came the nonchalant reply.

"He's alive but it's still touch and go, we'll know more after I cast my healing spells on him.  Now go and wash that stuff off your face, you look ridiculous."

"There's no need to be mean" said the Bard in a wounded tone before he walked away in search of a waterskin.

"What now?" asked Alyse.

"Now I pray to Thor and ask him to grant me the spells that I will require to heal our friend" replied Slobba as he sat cross legged on the ground and closed his eyes.  "Try to keep the others quiet."

Some days Llona hated being a woman and today was one of those days.  It was the cramps that were the worst, just as she thought they'd gone for good she'd be struck down with another one.  Yep, sometimes she hated being a woman.  Needing a sympathetic ear she wandered over to Alyse and struck up a conversation.
"Sorry about the dog" she said as she sat down beside her and leaned up against the wall.
"Wolf" replied the Ranger.
"Oh yeah, Wolf.  Are you sure?"
"Yes" came the terse response.
"Of course you're sure, you are a Ranger after all."
"Glad you noticed" said Alyse sarcastically.
Llona ignored the sarcasm and decided to change tack.
"You're uh, pretty good with that bow" she said haltingly "did your father teach you?"
"My father is dead" came the icy response "I killed him when I was 15." 
"You killed your own father?!"  exclaimed the Rogue. "That's terrible!"
"Do not judge me Elf" said Alyse coldly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" said Llona hurriedly "it's just that I'm feeling a bit emotional at the moment, what with Shyne nearly being killed and I'm also, you know, feeling less than fresh."
"What?"
"I'm, um, retaining a bit of water and am just unhappy with the way I look.  I often get emotional this time of the quarter"
"Quarter?" said Alyse before realisation struck "don't you mean month?"
"You only go through this monthly?" Llona asked incredulously.
"Of course" replied the Ranger.
"Well Elves do live 4 times longer than humans so I guess that does stand to reason" Llona said thoughtfully "but by Libra the Goddess of Flowers that's so unjust!"
"Hang on, are you trying to tell me that because you're an Elf yours goes for 28 days instead of 7?" asked Alyse.
"Yes" came the reply.
"Sucks to be you."


It was the sound of screaming that first greeted Shyne when he regained consciousness.  How it managed to break through the pain that had engulfed him he didn't know.  When he was a small child he'd been frightened by stories of a Banshee that stole young Elves from their homes if they did not go to bed on time.  Shyne had never heard a Banshees wail but he imagined that it sounded much like the cacophony of noise that was coming from somewhere nearby.
Shyne hurt. He hurt a lot.  As he lay on the ground trying not to move he struggled to remember the battle.  The last thing he could recall was fighting an undead Ogre while standing over Slobba's body.
'I haven't been pounded this hard since I went to the Mardi Gras after party at the Blue Oyster Bar in Candlelight City' he thought to himself.
With a supreme effort he managed to open his eyes and saw the concerned face of Slobba hovering just above him and muttering some kind of spell.
'Well at least he's alive'  he thought to himself before he felt a surge of healing power flood into his body from Slobbas outstretched hands.
'By the Gods that feels better'
"Thank you" he managed to croak through the taste of blood and battered lips.
"You're welcome my friend" replied the hulking blonde man that was now holding him upright.
From his new sitting position Shyne could see the source of the yelling that had awoken him.  A screaming Llona and Alyse were desperately trying to get at each other while Elvis and Grumpy struggled to keep them apart.
He watched in admiration as Elvis, who had Llona around the waist, managed to use the fracas to his advantage and grab a handful of something he shouldn't have. 
'Nice'  he said to himself with an accompanying weak chuckle.
Suddenly Alyse whipped an elbow into the Dwarfs face flinging him  dazed onto the floor.  Finally free from his grasp she launched herself at Llona and Elvis, sending all three of them crashing to the ground.  Elvis managed to drag himself out from under the two grappling females and crawled over to where Slobba and Shyne were watching the fight unfold.
"By The Living God" he panted "I've figured out what has caused this madness."
"What is it?" asked Slobba urgently.
"They're in sync!"
"By merciful Thor no!" said Slobba as the blood drained from his face. "What should we do?"
"Hide" said the Bard.
The screaming stopped as the two women conserved their energy for the fight and they rolled around the floor until they were three feet from where Shyne was resting against Slobba.  Elvis and Slobba held their breath not wanting to draw their attention, while in the background Grumpy struggled to get to his feet.
Both Llona and Alyse were oblivious to all around them, their faces were but inches apart, the only sound that filled the room was their ragged breathing.
"Kiss her" said Shyne softly with a glint of lust in his eyes.
Both women slowly turned their heads to look at the Warrior Wizard as he lay propped up against the hulking Lorsian Cleric.
"Shyne?  You're alive?" said Llona in wonderment as she slowly sat upright on top of the now still Alyse.
"Obviously" he responded in a weak voice.
"Oh Shyne!" she said as she leaped up and flung her head into his lap, very nearly poking her right eye out in the process.
"Steady on" said Slobba "he's still very weak, I've got more spells to cast on him yet."
"Yes.  Yes of course you do" said Llona as she sat up and choked back tears.  She then turned to Alyse and said.
"Oh Alyse I'm sorry for attacking you, can you forgive me?"
"No" said the Ranger angrily before she climbed to her feet and stalked off into the darkness.


Authors Note: I've had a few comments questioning how Shyne recovered so quickly after being so close to deaths door.  The answer to that is he had a healing spell cast upon him by Slobba which, in game terms, took him up to half his normal hit points (health).  Slobba then made reference to him still being weak and requiring additional healing spells.

An Authors Question

As you've undoubtedly all noticed I have a stats counter on the right hand side of the main page of this blog. 

This counter records how many times people navigate to the blog; to date that has been 300.


There is also an administrative 'stats' tool that is available to me that records the number of 'page views'.  Essentially when someone navigates to the blog then views 5 posts (pages), the stats counter on the main page will go up by 1 and the page views by 5.  Thus far there have been 824 'page views'.


Another feature of the stats tool is the ability to view the page views by day, week, month,  all time and country of origin.


Obviously the bulk of these views have originated in Australia, but the interesting thing from my perspective is that I've had 50 views from Canada and 29 from the United States.  There have been a couple from a few other countries such as Denmark and Mexico (probably my cousin) but they are no where near the volume from the first two countries.


I personally know all of the 'Followers' that are listed under the stats counter and know that none of them reside in either of those countries.


If you are a reader from one of those two countries I'd love to hear from you and find out what you think of this blog.  I get regular feedback from most of the 'Followers' but am yet to receive some from any other source. 


You are more than welcome to join the blog as a 'Follower' (it takes about 5 minutes and costs nothing), but if you don't wish to please feel free send an e-mail to russandtaryn@bigpond.com as I'd really like to get your opinions on what I've written.


Thanks for reading


Regards


Prux

Chapter XVI - Ring Ring

Llona, who was on guard duty, never noticed as Reggie flew silently over the sleeping bodies of the party towards the stairs that lead back up to the ground floor.
‘Deaf Cow’ he thought to himself.  ‘What good are those pointy ears if you can’t hear anything?’As he entered the cavernous room he banked slowly to the left and made directly for the hole in the ceiling that lead to the room on the first floor.  After he passed through the hole and into the observation room he flew over to the body of the creature that lay where it had fallen.  With the precision of a skilled butcher Reggie cut open its chest and delicately removed its heart, before he rose to his feet and hopped across the floor and onto the chair that sat behind the desk.  He placed the heart on top of a book before he picked up the parchment that Shyne had placed there hours before and began to read.

“Oh how I have longed for this day” he read aloud while he used his tail to cut a slice off the heart before stabbing it with the tip and putting it into his mouth.

‘Boring!’ he thought to himself between mouthfuls as he began to skim read through the text.

“fall of civilisations.....I waved at it and shouted.......recognise a Noble warrior of Heironeous!?”

“Oh Elf, you surely made a right mess of that” he said with an evil chuckle. 

After he’d finished his meal Reggie opened the pouch on his belt and removed his crystal ball.  It took him a while to clear his mind enough to activate the item, but eventually he was able to focus his thoughts until a nightmarish face appeared through the mist inside.

“Operator” said the disembodied head through a mouthful of fangs.

“Hello. I’d like to make a collect call to the 9 Hells please” said Reggie.

“Of course Sir.  What layer?”

“Avernus” he replied.

“I’ll need the area code followed by the number”

“Area code 666 and the number is 5556969” said the Imp in a patient voice.

“And your name and the name of the Devil that you wish to talk to”

“Reginald Arthur Wesley-Smyth the Third calling for Constance Charlotte Wesley-Smyth”

“Hold the line please Sir” said the Operator.

“Of course” said Reggie as he licked the blood from the tip of his tail.

“I have a Mr Reginald Arthur Wesley-Smyth the Third wishing to place a collect call to Constance Charlotte Wesley-Smyth, are you willing to accept the charges?”

“No” Reggie heard a male voice say faintly at the other end before the line went dead.

“I’m sorry Sir, but the receiving ball has declined to accept the charges” said the Operator.

“I heard” replied Reggie.

“While you’re on the ball Sir, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you about our new product called the Hellternet, it’s a revolutionary way to”

“I don’t want to hear about your stupid halterneck!” interrupted the Imp angrily.

 “Yes Sir” came the disembodied response “Then can I interest you in our new pre-paid range of crystal balls?”

“NO!” Reggie screamed into the ball “FUCK OFF!”

“Yes Sir. Have a terrible day” said the operator before hanging up.

“Wanker” Reggie said out loud before scattering the remaining parchments on the desk across the room. 

He’d recognised the faint voice in the ball.

“What in the name of all that is Evil are you playing at Willie?”

Authors Comment 2 - Change of Font

Recently I had a few comments about how hard it is to read Reggie's Old English Text font. 


I asked a few of my friends what they thought of it and the overwhelming response was that it had to go. 


I have changed the font of the entire blog to Arial now so it will be easier to read. 


I hope to have the next post out by Saturday night.


Thanks for reading.


Prux