“It was totally uncalled for” Elvis said in a whiny voice.
“Rubbish” replied Slobba as the two of them stood beside the entrance to the trap door that they had used to finally exit the tunnel they had found underneath the obelisk. “It was nothing more than you deserved.”
“But I didn’t DO anything!” complained the Bard.
“You called Shyne a fat prick”
“So?” came the reply.
The two friends stood inside what was obviously a warehouse. Large sacks of grain were stacked on top of each other reaching up to the exposed beams that supported the building’s roof. The light from Slobba’s lantern illuminated scores of rats that scurried around the floor, each one fat from the food that was so readily available to them. In his right hand he held the magical heavy mace that he had found in the chest in what had been the slain Minotaur’s room.
“You also had the audacity to call Llona a Crack Whore” he said wearily.
“As I said at the time I was using reverse psychology and you must admit that it worked, my songs made them angry and they fought harder.”
“Well I certainly can’t argue with that” replied the big Lorsian “unfortunately for you their rage didn’t die with their enemies.”
“But they went too far!” wailed the Bard.
Slobba turned to look at Elvis as he stood forlornly beside the open trap door. Shyne had been angry with the song that had been sung about him and he had gotten his revenge by casting a spell that had turned the Bards face a bright shade of blue.
But that had not been the worst of it.
If Shyne had been angry then Llona had been downright livid. While Elvis was paralysed she had used her short sword to first, cut off his eyebrows, then second, most of the hair on his head. Her anger had gotten the better of her while she had wielded her blade and she had nicked his skin on numerous occasions, as was evident by the little white squares of paper that dotted his otherwise blue head.
‘I’m amazed that she didn’t take off one of his ears or poke out one of his eyes’ the Cleric of Thor thought to himself.
Slobba knew that the spell would only last for a few hours and that the hair would grow back eventually, but the now comically disfigured Bard was a vain man and it was a cruel punishment indeed.
Suddenly, the big Lorsian began to chuckle. To his credit he tried to stifle it but, despite his best efforts, he was soon laughing harder than he had ever laughed before.
As he did so the tension that had built up on him over the past few days seemed to fade away. Slobba and his companions had fought a number of deadly foes and they were truly lucky to have survived their ordeal without any of them being killed. Surely Mighty Thor had been watching over them.
As he collapsed to the floor and leant up against a bag of grain to regain his composure, he heard movement on the ladder and it was not long before first Shyne, then Grumpy, climbed out of the trap door carrying some of the loot that they had found after they’d killed the last of their enemies.
“Has bluebeard stopped sulking yet?” asked the Dwarf gruffly as he dropped his pack to the floor and pulled his water skin off his belt before taking a long drink from it.
“Bugger off” snapped Elvis bitterly.
“I think he looks great” said Shyne with an evil grin on his face as Alyse and Llona both climbed up through the trap door to join their companions.
“Why so blue Elvis?” asked Alyse in an innocent tone.
“Oh don’t you start” muttered the Bard.
“All right that’s enough” said Slobba just as Llona opened her mouth to add to Elvis’ torment. “Llona why don’t you find us a way out of this warehouse, the rest of you can take a few minutes rest.”
The female Elf nodded her head, threw a look of contempt at the Bard, and then headed off silently into the darkness. The remainder of the party took the opportunity to make themselves comfortable while they waited for her to return.
After a few minutes passed Slobba turned to Alyse and said.
“So what was all that about then?”
“What was all what about?” she replied with a raised eyebrow before taking a bite of some jerky that she had pulled out of her rations.
“You know, the whole obelisk and Ministry of Winds thing.”
“I have no idea” she said between mouthfuls.
“Shyne?” said Slobba.
“Not a clue.”
“Grumpy?”
“Ministry of Winds? Never heard of it” replied the Dwarf as he hurled a dagger at a large rat that was hiding between two bags of grain, missing it by a good two inches.
“Elvis?”
“Fuck off” came the sullen response.
“I guess we’ll never know” said Slobba with a thoughtful expression on his face.
Authors Note: In game terms this was the end of the adventure known as the Ministry of Winds. Even though it didn’t exactly end as described above, it should be noted that none of us players really did know what it was all about. We had no idea why we were there or what the Ministry of Winds was trying to do (aside from it probably being something bad). This was most probably due to one of two things.
Firstly, we are a very social group and we don’t take the game too seriously. Unfortunately this means that quite often we are chatting amongst ourselves and we miss clues and vital bits of the plot.
Secondly, we aren’t really the sharpest tools in the shed.
Personally, I think it was more of the latter.
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