Grumpy lurched to his feet and hefted his axe as two armoured warriors ran at him with swords drawn. Behind him he heard Alyse whimpering in pain and he knew that he was all that stood between her and certain death. He quickly glanced to his right and saw both Slobba and Shyne locked in combat with an opponent; of Llona there was no sign.
Deciding that the best form of defence was offence, the powerfully built Dwarf bellowed a war cry and charged at the man on his left, swinging his axe in a murderous arc towards his opponent’s side. The human fighter managed to deflect the blow with his shield, before thrusting his sword at the Dwarfs helmeted head. Grumpy swayed slightly on his feet and the tip of the sword missed his face by inches. He fully expected to feel the blade of his other assailant and was thankful that it was not forthcoming.
Not waiting to see where that opponent was he stepped forward and swung his axe once again at the torso of the man before him, before deviating its flight and bringing the heavy head of the axe onto the foot of his enemy, causing him to shriek in pain and collapse to the floor as it was hacked off just below the ankle. Grumpy took two steps forward and buried his axe into the head of the screaming figure on the ground, abruptly ending his agony. He quickly glance over his shoulder and saw that Llona had engaged his other assailant, before movement to his front caught his attention.
The Wizard that Shyne had hit with his magical acid arrow had regained his feet. His face was a ruinous mass off melted skin and exposed flesh, and his right eye was dangling from its socket. He quickly motioned with his fingers and cast a spell then suddenly was surrounded by 4 identical copies of himself. Grumpy blinked in confusion as he could not tell which of the Wizards was the original, and which were the copies.
Before he had time to act a large figure charged through the doorway to the left of the Wizard and hurled itself at him. The creature had the head of a bull and the body of a man and was wielding an axe even larger than the one that the Dwarf had.
‘By Clangeddins hairy balls that’s a Minotaur!’ he thought to himself as the enormous axe swept towards him and he quickly brought his own weapon up to parry the attack. The strength of the blow was enormous and he only just managed to hold onto the shaft of his axe, although his arms felt like they had gone numb.
Grumpy ducked under another attack then grunted in satisfaction as he felt his axe strike the Minotaur’s thigh with a meaty thunk. He nimbly dodged a return blow, before kicking a chair into the path of the creature to buy himself some time.
With one mighty blow the Minotaur smashed the chair into a hundred pieces and then he began to stalk towards the Dwarf with murder on its bovine face. Grumpy needed to do something and he needed to do it quick; as the enormous half man half bull strode towards him he hawked a loogie, then sent it hurtling from his mouth and into the right eye of the Minotaur, causing it to reel back in surprise. Seizing his chance the Dwarf jumped forward and buried his axe into the side of the creature, causing it to roar in agony. But it was not done and with the crazed strength of a berserker it began to rain blows upon the hapless dwarf until one mighty swing tore the axe from his hands and sent it careening across the room, narrowly missing Alyse who was struggling to get to her feet.
The Minotaur, with blood flowing freely from the wounds that Grumpy had given it, once again raised its axe and brought it hurtling down towards the Dwarf’s head in what surely would be a killing blow. But Grumpy was not there; at the last second he threw himself at the creature and, ducking under its strike, he began to beat his fists into its wounded side. The Minotaur yelled in pain and, with a speed that caught the Dwarf by surprise, lashed out with his right fist, smashing it into his head and sending Grumpy sailing across the room to crash into the wall behind him. Dazed, he sank to the floor in a crumpled heap.
As Elvis finished his song he surveyed the battle that raged before him. Shyne seemed to be holding his own with his opponent although he did appear to be favouring his right leg. Gimp was darting in and out of the combat in an attempt to distract the warrior that was attacking his master.
Alyse was now on her feet and was furiously firing arrows at the 5 badly scarred wizards that were on the opposite side of the room trying to cast spells. Even as he watched one of them blinked out of existence as one of her arrows found its mark.
As he turned to his right he saw Slobba use his long spear to sweep the legs of his opponent then ram its iron tip into his chest while he lay on his back. To ensure that the job had been done he savagely twisted the spear before withdrawing it and hurrying over to assist Shyne.
Llona was locked in a life and death struggle with the man before her and was bleeding from a number of wounds that she had sustained during the combat. Even as he watched he saw the armour clad human slip past the Elf’s guard and plunge his sword into her shoulder. Hissing in pain she drove one of her short swords into his thigh before dancing back out of reach his counter attack.
‘She needs help’ the Bard thought to himself as he drew his rapier and leaped into the fray ‘and I know the perfect song to make her angry’
Her name was Llona
She was a crack whore,
She had jizz all in her hair
And did not wear underwear
“You filthy good for nothing piece of Orc dung, I’m going to kill you once this is all over!” Llona shouted before ramming both of her swords into the torso of the man that she was fighting then watching him fall lifelessly to the floor.
As she turned to face the Bard she saw the Minotaur striding towards the fallen Grumpy with its enormous axe raised above its head.
“GRUMPY, MOVE!” screamed at the top of her lungs.
Instinctively the Dwarf threw himself to the right and he felt the floor shudder as the axe was buried into the stone where he had been laying a second before. Weapon less he surged to his feet, eyes darting frantically to locate his missing axe. Seeing that it was too far away to reach, he grabbed for the dagger that he kept on his belt only to find that it was no longer in its sheath.
The Minotaur snorted in anger as it swung his axe and caught the Dwarf a glancing blow that once again sent him cannoning into the wall with a sicking thud.
As he struggled to his feet, Grumpy desperately thrust his hands into the front of his armour and pulled out his sock.
‘How did it come to this?’ he thought to himself as he ducked to avoid being decapitated by the Minotaur’s murderous assault.
Knowing that he couldn’t possibly survive another hit from the axe the Dwarf threw caution to the wind and launched himself at the creature that was hell bent on killing him.
As if in slow motion he flew through the air, his sock clutched tightly in his right hand like a dagger. The Minotaur blinked in surprise as the sock, strengthened by years of abuse, entered his throat just below his jaw and drove up through the roof of his mouth and into his brain, before shattering into millions of tiny pieces.
It took seconds for the creature’s brain to realise that it had just been killed and it toppled to the ground with an almighty crash.
‘Ah Salty, you were a grand companion that saw me through many a lonely night, I’ll miss you greatly’ the Dwarf said to himself before he hefted the axe of the fallen Minotaur and staggered off to help Alyse kill the last of the scarred Wizards.
Authors Note 1: Apologies to Barry Manilow for bastardising his song 'Copacabana'. Also, I really enjoy getting comments posted on the blog so please do so if you have any.
Authors Note 2: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of my readers - Prux.
Authors Note 2: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of my readers - Prux.
